I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
