no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
