Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
