So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
