belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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