Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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