I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
