i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
