I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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