break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i don't like sucking hair
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
