The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
