You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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