so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
