My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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