How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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