I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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