Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
