he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
