the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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