She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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