i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
