Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
