How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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