that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
