when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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