Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize