even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
