So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
