Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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