Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
