bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i dont even know how to be here
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
