why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
