I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
