whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
