I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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