honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
