Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
