God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize