ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
