I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
