Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize