we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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