what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
