if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
