Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
