WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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