omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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