this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize