That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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