He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
so much tequila, so little girl.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize