I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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