he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
