That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm passing your future prison.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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