actually, I'm a sock model
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
