Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
