The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
