i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
