Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
