Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
