I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
