as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
