Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
