would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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