How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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