last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
