You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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