I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
