True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
