Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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